I'm well aware I don't blog half as much as I've been used to doing. Perhaps that's just life's way of getting in my way; maybe it's that I have nothing to say. No, I think I've realized over the past few weeks that now more than ever I have plenty to say. Things worth listening to, worth thinking about. And things worth that much consideration deserve to be understood before passed on or shared.
September was a difficult month for me. There was more than a fair share of tragedy. But slow thoughts overcame me, thoughts that have been accumulating for years... maybe my whole life. Without getting into too much too soon, it was more or less a period of massive personal growth. I'm quite certain one of my main goals in life is to understand and learn everything I can. And while some may argue that too much knowledge can take the magic out of living I'd have to strongly disagree. No one person on this earth will ever have enough knowledge of anything to have the insatiable curiosity tamed by it. This is simply because the more we learn the more we realize how much unknown there actually is. Which in turn serves to only make that desire for growth more vibrant. I know a man who is a physics teacher who will drop in to the office here from time to time and show me a new card trick. And they're good tricks, too. I'm always begging him to show me how each new one is done. Since most card tricks are a matter of memory, static electricity, and dexterity. He asked me the last time why I always wanted to know how they're done, that it would take the magic out of the trick if I knew. I retorted back, as if not of my own voice at all, that it was crap. The trick is simple science, the real magic is distorting the perception of the audience. ...And therein lies kind of why I'm a little obsessed with learning. I'm in an essence obsessed with the illusion we call "reality". I want to unwrap the gleaming foil from around it if for no other purpose than to become cognizant of my own existence for what it actually is. Not just tissues and cells and amino acids. But cognition, consciousness, soul, and spirit.
I'm actually a firm acknowledger of synchronicity. It is there. You know how people talk of coincidences and strange events and reasons? Synchronicity teaches us to pay attention and extend our field of vision beyond that narrow visible spectrum of awareness. But before you go googling synchronicity, understand that the meaning of the term is different for many people. It's a metaphysical mysticism for most and I don't want my point being misinterpreted. Which is kind of how I feel now about truth, thought, and belief now anyway. That it's ours for the taking. But it's not one-size-fits-all. In no uncertain terms, your reality isn't mine. And our realities are just perceptions. Perceptions based on the lives we've unfolded thus far.
So anyway, that's sort of how it happened. I began to pay more attention to everything. And I'd be in the right place at the right time to hear the right comment or find the right book or reflect on myself to find the right thought.
There you have where I am right now. I have a brilliant-to-me, all my own, give something good to the earth idea in my head. One of a million ways I can do for others. But right now I am studying and reading and note taking like a mad woman whenever I have a spare moment. It's like realizing what you want to do when you grow up is nothing college studies could've ever prepared you for. So now the education really begins, only it began when I was born... and somehow everything (good and bad and in between) that I've lived through may not make logical sense, but it makes faithful sense.
And with that I could run off a thousand other thought I've had, but I won't. If anybody at all gives enough of a damn apart from what their reality is enough to think of it... take the time to ask someone what being alive really means to them. Swap notes. Exchange ideas. Don't be bound to a bubble. And like it or not, we're all in bubbles. And we all like to be asked things. Isn't that it? One of our basic needs apart from air, blood, food, water, and love... is to have someone else care enough to want to learn who we are. Trueness of who we are. Beyond doctor or sales manager or lunch lady. The divine being within that has a soul with a purpose and a desire to keep going. Think about it. Everybody you know has (or has the potential for developing) a theory of everything. None like the next. Kind of magical, don't you think?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
A Size Negative.
I'm perplexed.
First of all, there is now a "Plus Size" model who wears a size 4. FOUR. 4. You know, that crazy unattainable number that post-pubescent women over 5'7 will only ever see under extreme conditions. Since 5th grade (when I was 5'4 and 110) I have worn a size 4 once. Last summer. For about a two week window after killing myself to fit into a tight LBD for a banquet. Pretty sure at 5'8 and not 110, I have vanity sizing to thank for that.
*Facepalm*
Size 4 is NOT 'plus'. On any planet.
Furthermore, most models you see with jutting hip bones in those fashion rags are 14, 15. And have yet to hit that hormonal thing that gives us ladies our curves. So the average American woman is told to idealize her figure to that of an adolescent? Because self-worth is found in the tag on our jeans? IDFTS. Stop the bus. I'll be a size 00 about half-past never.
I have a problem with that.
So if a 4 is too fat, and a 12 not fat enough to plus-size model... where are the body image role models for the everyday gal?
Where are our models? Where is the modeling agency and the fashion magazine and the clothing designer willing to accept that women are women and not teenage boys and give us clothes cut to fit curvaceous hips, a soft (but not fat) stomach, where are button-down shirts that don't gap over the boobs? Do you know how annoying it is to have to leave the first 2-3 undone, requiring you wear a tank top underneath? Why is it so hard to find clothes that don't look awkward because they were designed for ruler body-types?
<---Meet Crystal Renn. 'Plus size' model. I think she's gorgeous.
<---Compared to how Ralph Lauren thinks you should look. Most will remember the photoshopped ads they published last year.
We as the majority of consumers have the right to stand up against this stupid double-zero-standard. We buy the damn clothes. Our waists will never be as wide as our wrists. Fashion industry, you've lost your damn minds. Furthermore, look at the effect it has on today's teens. What in the world will our daughters and granddaughters be told is beautiful if we don't swing the tide? Body dysmorphia is on the rise. The time to reclaim beautiful is now.
I refuse to starve myself for trends.
Check out how beauty standards have changed... (from natural, classic, and beautiful... to sickly)
First of all, there is now a "Plus Size" model who wears a size 4. FOUR. 4. You know, that crazy unattainable number that post-pubescent women over 5'7 will only ever see under extreme conditions. Since 5th grade (when I was 5'4 and 110) I have worn a size 4 once. Last summer. For about a two week window after killing myself to fit into a tight LBD for a banquet. Pretty sure at 5'8 and not 110, I have vanity sizing to thank for that.
*Facepalm*
Size 4 is NOT 'plus'. On any planet.
Furthermore, most models you see with jutting hip bones in those fashion rags are 14, 15. And have yet to hit that hormonal thing that gives us ladies our curves. So the average American woman is told to idealize her figure to that of an adolescent? Because self-worth is found in the tag on our jeans? IDFTS. Stop the bus. I'll be a size 00 about half-past never.
I have a problem with that.
So if a 4 is too fat, and a 12 not fat enough to plus-size model... where are the body image role models for the everyday gal?
Where are our models? Where is the modeling agency and the fashion magazine and the clothing designer willing to accept that women are women and not teenage boys and give us clothes cut to fit curvaceous hips, a soft (but not fat) stomach, where are button-down shirts that don't gap over the boobs? Do you know how annoying it is to have to leave the first 2-3 undone, requiring you wear a tank top underneath? Why is it so hard to find clothes that don't look awkward because they were designed for ruler body-types?
<---Meet Crystal Renn. 'Plus size' model. I think she's gorgeous.
<---Compared to how Ralph Lauren thinks you should look. Most will remember the photoshopped ads they published last year.
We as the majority of consumers have the right to stand up against this stupid double-zero-standard. We buy the damn clothes. Our waists will never be as wide as our wrists. Fashion industry, you've lost your damn minds. Furthermore, look at the effect it has on today's teens. What in the world will our daughters and granddaughters be told is beautiful if we don't swing the tide? Body dysmorphia is on the rise. The time to reclaim beautiful is now.
I refuse to starve myself for trends.
Check out how beauty standards have changed... (from natural, classic, and beautiful... to sickly)
Eventually Women Will Just Disappear:
/end rant.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The Rock Gospel According to Rhiannon
This got me to thinking about if I could write my own Gospel of Rock (without blaspheming the code) what would I say? Surely I have observed a bit over the years.
*Disclaimer: Though I by no means claim to know what I'm talking about, this is all just my opinion based on actual experiences.
The Rock Gospel According to Rhiannon
Know Thy Place
1. You are not with the band if you tell people you're with the band. In fact, unless you are in the band or carrying equipment you're not with the band.
2. There are two categories of people with the band, members and crew. There are two categories of people who aren't with the band but are treated as if they are, "band family" and real family. There are two categories of people who aren't with the band but think they are, groupies and stans.
3. If you don't know which category you fall into, you're in the last two.
4. Never ask to be put on the list.
5. If you're worthy of being on the list, you'll be on it. Whether you've been asked if you're coming to the show or not. Chances are, the person working the door knows you anyway and this won't be an issue.
6. If you're not on the list but think you're supposed to be. Don't argue with the door, you're not supposed to be. Suck it up, fork out the dough for the cover/ticket, and support the band you love.
7. Should you show up to every show, congratulations, you're a groupie. (Assuming you aren't with the band.)
8. He's not going to call you back. If he does, it just means it's a slow night.
9. If you must sleep with a band member, understand you're a one-night stand. Be safe, and don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to be "the one". You're "the one that night". Any attempts to convince him otherwise will mark you as crazy and will land you on the BOLO list.
10. The "BOLO" list is short for "Be on the look-out". Consider it equivalent to America's Most Wanted list. If you're on it, someone either wants to sleep with you or avoid you. And depending on which, you will either be backstage or stageblocked.
10. The "BOLO" list is short for "Be on the look-out". Consider it equivalent to America's Most Wanted list. If you're on it, someone either wants to sleep with you or avoid you. And depending on which, you will either be backstage or stageblocked.
11. If you're dating someone in the band, that does not put you in any position of power. You're a groupie with creds and most likely need to get tested when he gets back from that gig in (insert far away city that you couldn't attend here). Be nice to the fans, and don't freak out when your guy stage-flirts. This is his job. Let him work.
12. If you're married to someone in the band, good luck. You must be special; it's going to take a lot of patience, trust, understanding, and sacrifice to make it work. The road ahead of you isn't an easy one.
13. Never re-tell any stories that you're not sure are okay to tell. Even if the story involves you and is about your life, don't break the code.
14. Learn the code. It will make you a better person.
15. Don't corner a band member after the show to make small-talk. It's late, they're tired, think of how you'd feel if a random person cornered you in your office at 5:00 to discuss your job.
16. If you're there to have a good time and enjoy the music, thank you.
17. Buy merch. This ensures you can continue coming out and having a good time enjoying the music. Yes, it is appreciated you came out, but the real money is made at the merch table and if you like what you hear, show your appreciation and buy an album.
18. Fans should not go on the internet and split hairs critiquing the show on public message boards, YouTube comments, or blogs. If you know so much about it, by all means, get up there and give it a go. "Sucks" is a subjective term. Remember music is art. Not a means for you to bullshit like you know what you're talking about to impress people who are gullible enough to listen. If you do have an opinion on the show and do know what you're talking about, you'll probably have enough respect for the artist or band to do it privately. They have enough criticism coming their way from themselves and journalists. Be a respectful fan, not a poser know-it-all. They don't come to Subway and tell you you could've done a better job slicing that bread.
19. Don't fool yourself, if you're trying to wiggle your way "in", it's not going unnoticed. No need to sneak off to the bathroom and somehow give yourself a bloody nose so the lead singer carries you across the threshold of the medical tent like his Carrie-bride. Everyone knows you're faking it and using someone's kind nature to earn a little face-time. (Based on a true story.)
20. Being cool, respectful, and normal goes a long way.
21. Don't ask an artist who has been around for a while why they're still touring, implying they do it for the money. In the words of Tommy Shaw, "You don't ask your plumber why he's still fixing pipes, do you? I'm out here because I want to be."
22. There is a LOT of drama around bands. Get used to it and be prepared.
23. Remember it's just about the music. Rock out & rock on.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Seen, but Not Heard
I've been doing a lot of introspection lately concerning people's outward actions versus their true intentions. And where that all stems from in the psyche. I remembered long ago as I was growing up whenever I'd try to state an opinion on something how often an elder would tell me, a child, that I was "meant to be seen, not heard".
In looking at this phrase initially, and the literal way people take it, it's pretty offensive. Isn't everyone's opinion just as valuable as another's? (Note that valuable does not necessarily mean right or intelligent or even thought out. Just that it is an innate human right to have one. Kind of like an asshole.) So then what if there's an alternate interpretation for the seen & not heard adage?
Case in point, people beyond a certain intelligence level are sharply aware of the image they project onto the world. It's part of me, when I want you to see it, and how. It's not facades, or fronts, or masks, but a deliberate volunteering of part of one's heart that shapes the outward perception of someone. I'd say 75% of us do this to a certain degree. For example, everybody farts. Yes, I'm speaking to the ladies, too. But who goes around telling people about the epic fog they crop dusted in the vitamin aisle at Target? Who wants that to be what people see? ...Okay, there are some. But for the most part you get my point. We conceal parts of ourselves and only give out the best of us to those we don't know on a deep personal level.
So while this in itself is a form of manipulation, as you are manipulating parts of yourself to in effect put "the best foot forward", it's harmless, expected, and actually required of us if we're going to get anywhere in our careers, personal lives, and so on. So the information that is kept in, the burnt cookies you don't take to the bake sale (if you will), is what we commonly refer to as our secrets. Our deeply private personal factoids and feelings that truly characterize our true character. Anybody who's been in a long term relationship will remember when they finally stopped being so damn uptight about bodily functions (ie: said fogging or leaving the bathroom door open for you hardcore kids). And that's the point you get to when you're truly comfortable with another human. I know it sounds blasé, but you see what I'm getting at.
Now, there is a dangerous... er, dark at least... side to all this. That's when someone has a good enough grasp on this projected image to distort it beyond themselves. For whatever reason, be it trying to impress someone they wouldn't have anything in common with otherwise, or maybe wanting to seem like a better person than they think themselves to be, or to be completely facetious with the intentions of malevolently manipulating someone to attain their own agenda. Which in fact isn't an uncommon thing. How many smokers lie to non-smokers about being smokers so that they won't be judged or nagged? How many people put on airs of religious kindness so people will think they get something that they truly missed completely and are scared to death to let show? Or if someone wants to try and lure in a potential personality type to befriend, and thusly change their personality to fit theirs so the other has an impression of commonality on which to build a comfort level? Remember high school? Ok.
This is where the alternate interpretation of "meant to be seen and not heard" comes into play. In a world of selective truth, how does one find reality? (Ignoring that reality is itself individual, unique, and open to interpretation.) Seen. Actions. Not words. Anyone can talk themselves up all day long about how wonderful they are, what they do for philanthropy, or play the ever popular victim card for sympathy... but where's the defining line of deserved empathy? Check their actions. What people do when no one else is around is who they are. Don't accept them telling you they did this, because most often the people that do the most good speak the least about it.
The moral of the story is: Truth, is meant to be seen. Not heard.
In looking at this phrase initially, and the literal way people take it, it's pretty offensive. Isn't everyone's opinion just as valuable as another's? (Note that valuable does not necessarily mean right or intelligent or even thought out. Just that it is an innate human right to have one. Kind of like an asshole.) So then what if there's an alternate interpretation for the seen & not heard adage?
Case in point, people beyond a certain intelligence level are sharply aware of the image they project onto the world. It's part of me, when I want you to see it, and how. It's not facades, or fronts, or masks, but a deliberate volunteering of part of one's heart that shapes the outward perception of someone. I'd say 75% of us do this to a certain degree. For example, everybody farts. Yes, I'm speaking to the ladies, too. But who goes around telling people about the epic fog they crop dusted in the vitamin aisle at Target? Who wants that to be what people see? ...Okay, there are some. But for the most part you get my point. We conceal parts of ourselves and only give out the best of us to those we don't know on a deep personal level.
So while this in itself is a form of manipulation, as you are manipulating parts of yourself to in effect put "the best foot forward", it's harmless, expected, and actually required of us if we're going to get anywhere in our careers, personal lives, and so on. So the information that is kept in, the burnt cookies you don't take to the bake sale (if you will), is what we commonly refer to as our secrets. Our deeply private personal factoids and feelings that truly characterize our true character. Anybody who's been in a long term relationship will remember when they finally stopped being so damn uptight about bodily functions (ie: said fogging or leaving the bathroom door open for you hardcore kids). And that's the point you get to when you're truly comfortable with another human. I know it sounds blasé, but you see what I'm getting at.
Now, there is a dangerous... er, dark at least... side to all this. That's when someone has a good enough grasp on this projected image to distort it beyond themselves. For whatever reason, be it trying to impress someone they wouldn't have anything in common with otherwise, or maybe wanting to seem like a better person than they think themselves to be, or to be completely facetious with the intentions of malevolently manipulating someone to attain their own agenda. Which in fact isn't an uncommon thing. How many smokers lie to non-smokers about being smokers so that they won't be judged or nagged? How many people put on airs of religious kindness so people will think they get something that they truly missed completely and are scared to death to let show? Or if someone wants to try and lure in a potential personality type to befriend, and thusly change their personality to fit theirs so the other has an impression of commonality on which to build a comfort level? Remember high school? Ok.
This is where the alternate interpretation of "meant to be seen and not heard" comes into play. In a world of selective truth, how does one find reality? (Ignoring that reality is itself individual, unique, and open to interpretation.) Seen. Actions. Not words. Anyone can talk themselves up all day long about how wonderful they are, what they do for philanthropy, or play the ever popular victim card for sympathy... but where's the defining line of deserved empathy? Check their actions. What people do when no one else is around is who they are. Don't accept them telling you they did this, because most often the people that do the most good speak the least about it.
The moral of the story is: Truth, is meant to be seen. Not heard.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Thoughts on Curling
Don't feel like putting in a DVD, don't feel like sleep. Nothing is on TV. So I'm watching curling.
WHY is this an Olympic "sport"? What is athletic about this? Why are they so serious about it... hollerin'... so intense. DUDE... you're pushing a rock and sweeping. There's a giant target that seems to serve no apparent purpose because from what I can tell they're responding the same no matter where the thing stops. (I've figured out the scoring & the purpose. I still don't think it's a "sport" anymore than carrying in your groceries is a "sport".) And I nit you shot, the announcer just said "this Norway team is trying to push a hot deuce". That's all I need to know. That must be the purpose for the bullseye.
There's truly something magnificent about watching dudes sweeping in argyle pants.
Can you imagine what it must be like for these guys in the Olympic village? I can picture it, lunch time at the Olympian cafeteria. All these athletes who train so intense all their lives for one moment of glory sitting at tables laughing and talking about that one time they blew out (insert appendage or joint of choice) and thought their career was over. ...Back in the far corner, huddled with their Swiffers and Hot Pockets, talking about why Picard was a better captain than Kirk, the curlers. (Picard WAS.)
On the flip side, how pissed off would you be if you were Apolo Ohno strolling through Vancouver with your bronze and along comes a pudgy bald dude with a gold medal? That he got for... assisting in the general sliding direction of a rock.
And while we're at it, if Curling can be a Winter Olympic Game, it is only fair that Cornhole be instated as an official Summer Olympic Game. ...Or Ski-Ball. Or that one game where you put your quarter in and it falls in another pile of quarters, and the shelves push & retract and you always think the quarters will fall. But, the quarters never fall. So you give up and trade in your tickets for spider rings & jolly ranchers. What's next? Olympic Spacing Out In the Middle of Conversations? Olympic Changing the Toilet Paper Roll?
"Oh hey! What'd you get your gold medal for?" ... "Air hockey."
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