Theoretical Rambling of Quantum Nothings

I'm well aware I don't blog half as much as I've been used to doing.  Perhaps that's just life's way of getting in my way; maybe it's that I have nothing to say.  No, I think I've realized over the past few weeks that now more than ever I have plenty to say.  Things worth listening to, worth thinking about.  And things worth that much consideration deserve to be understood before passed on or shared.

September was a difficult month for me.  There was more than a fair share of tragedy.  But slow thoughts overcame me, thoughts that have been accumulating for years... maybe my whole life.  Without getting into too much too soon, it was more or less a period of massive personal growth.  I'm quite certain one of my main goals in life is to understand and learn everything I can.  And while some may argue that too much knowledge can take the magic out of living I'd have to strongly disagree.  No one person on this earth will ever have enough knowledge of anything to have the insatiable curiosity tamed by it.  This is simply because the more we learn the more we realize how much unknown there actually is.  Which in turn serves to only make that desire for growth more vibrant.  I know a man who is a physics teacher who will drop in to the office here from time to time and show me a new card trick.  And they're good tricks, too.  I'm always begging him to show me how each new one is done.  Since most card tricks are a matter of memory, static electricity, and dexterity.  He asked me the last time why I always wanted to know how they're done, that it would take the magic out of the trick if I knew.  I retorted back, as if not of my own voice at all, that it was crap.  The trick is simple science, the real magic is distorting the perception of the audience.  ...And therein lies kind of why I'm a little obsessed with learning.  I'm in an essence obsessed with the illusion we call "reality".  I want to unwrap the gleaming foil from around it if for no other purpose than to become cognizant of my own existence for what it actually is.  Not just tissues and cells and amino acids.  But cognition, consciousness, soul, and spirit.

I'm actually a firm acknowledger of synchronicity.  It is there.  You know how people talk of coincidences and strange events and reasons?  Synchronicity teaches us to pay attention and extend our field of vision beyond that narrow visible spectrum of awareness.  But before you go googling synchronicity, understand that the meaning of the term is different for many people.  It's a metaphysical mysticism for most and I don't want my point being misinterpreted.  Which is kind of how I feel now about truth, thought, and belief now anyway.  That it's ours for the taking.  But it's not one-size-fits-all.  In no uncertain terms, your reality isn't mine.  And our realities are just perceptions.  Perceptions based on the lives we've unfolded thus far.

So anyway, that's sort of how it happened.  I began to pay more attention to everything.  And I'd be in the right place at the right time to hear the right comment or find the right book or reflect on myself to find the right thought.

There you have where I am right now.  I have a brilliant-to-me, all my own, give something good to the earth idea in my head.  One of a million ways I can do for others.  But right now I am studying and reading and note taking like a mad woman whenever I have a spare moment.  It's like realizing what you want to do when you grow up is nothing college studies could've ever prepared you for.  So now the education really begins, only it began when I was born... and somehow everything (good and bad and in between) that I've lived through may not make logical sense, but it makes faithful sense.

And with that I could run off a thousand other thought I've had, but I won't.  If anybody at all gives enough of a damn apart from what their reality is enough to think of it... take the time to ask someone what being alive really means to them.  Swap notes.  Exchange ideas.  Don't be bound to a bubble.  And like it or not, we're all in bubbles.  And we all like to be asked things.  Isn't that it?  One of our basic needs apart from air, blood, food, water, and love... is to have someone else care enough to want to learn who we are.  Trueness of who we are.  Beyond doctor or sales manager or lunch lady.  The divine being within that has a soul with a purpose and a desire to keep going.  Think about it.  Everybody you know has (or has the potential for developing) a theory of everything.  None like the next.  Kind of magical, don't you think?