Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Handbag of Hypocrisy: From Burberry


I'm not big on "things" and "stuff".  I got over label envy and being cool years ago.  My idea of cool is not having a bunch of stuff aroung tying me down, and having as much saved up as I can manage to work towards the future and whatever she may hold.  But every now and then I like to reward myself with a little treat.  An "atta girl", if you will.

I've worked hard.  More than that, the past year.  I just do and do and do and never look up until I realize there's snow on the ground or the summer sun is boiling down.  Ask me what day it is.  I can't even tell you.  I saw this handbag at the mall Saturday night.  Tonight I bought it.  With the matching wallet.

I won't say how much the total was, but it was a lot.  The most I've ever "splurged" on myself.

But it made me happy.  It was nice and shiny and smells like class!  Then out of nowhere I couldn't stop thinking about starving children, kids who don't have coats with winter stalking us.  Yes, I may deserve something nice.  But does that mean I should have it?  "Who am I to be blind pretending not to see their needs?"  This bag makes me a hypocrite. 

So I'm returning it to Nordstrom tomorrow after work.  I decided to take the money and instead use it to buy loads of warm clothes for the three angel tree kids I've adopted this year.  And maybe a latte.  

I feel like an ass.

Life changes have surprises.  You think, "Oh this will be easy.  I got this."  And somewhere along the way you sneak up on yourself and like a suckerpunch in the dark, you do one thing, like buying a purse and it shakes your world around.  I said to my roommate verbatim, "Am I going to be serious about myself or am I just going to flap around with ideology and inaction?" 

I have a handbag.  It's old, but you know what... it holds my wallet, keys, sunglasses, and paraphernelia of similar sorts.  And that's all I need.  I've been blessed and I want to share that.  No... I AM sharing that.  Hah.

Sayonara, satchel.